Today’s Word: ‘Questions’ as in… let me give you some questions to wrestle through:
Go back to your early childhood and recall some experiences involving endings. Some may have been overwhelming, perhaps a death in the family. Others may have been significant to everyone except you—your parent’s departure on a trip, the death of a pet, or a friend moving away.
Now ask yourself: Why is change important? What’s the benefit, what’s the downside? What’s changing in your life right now? What will actually change? What will you lose, what will you gain?
Think of a current change and respond yes or no: Have I defined clearly what is over and what isn’t? Have I let myself grieve and acknowledged the losses even when they seem like overreaction? Have I worked hard to unpack old baggage, heal old wounds, and finish unfinished business? Have I found ways to ‘mark the ending’, not to denigrate the past, to find ways to honor it? Have I said thank you to everyone who has contributed? What pieces of the past will I bring with me into the future? Have I equipped myself with the necessary information and knowledge I need to manage this aspect of the transition?
Now that this change has occurred, what old ways of doing things must I give up? What have I lost? What needs do I have that will no longer be met? How can I meet those needs in other ways?
Because of this change, what parts of myself and the way I see myself are now out of date? How can I grieve these losses? What can I do to symbolically say good-bye?
Acknowledging the losses and creating a way to symbolically or ritually let go of them can help us to end well and move on to the next phase of transition, the Wilderness.
Go ahead and spend some time with these questions. They’re important.
And so is working through them.