Today’s Word: ‘discovery’ as in… holding on to our doubts and then releasing them might be the first step toward a remarkable new discovery.
I’ve been working through a meditation series on doubt. Today is Day 9 of the ten day series. When I started I wondered if it was really for me, and when I finished the first exercise I thought I should just move on to a different series.
But something wouldn’t let me do that.
By Day 5 I really thought I was spinning my wheels. I was asking myself, “Honestly Gauche, what do you have doubts about?” After a few thoughtful moments, I answered back: “Nothing. If you can’t think of any, don’t just make some up. You’re a smart guy. What’s to doubt?”
Day 6. Honestly, the only thing I had any doubts about was having any doubts.
We’re a couple of months into a global pandemic. We’re a good six weeks into Social Distancing, Sheltering at Home, Lockdown. And by now we’re discovering all kinds of things that we didn’t know “before.” We’re discovering the complexities between life as we knew it and life as we will know it. In the meantime, this in-between time is filled with all kinds of doubt.
Day 9. Today, on Day 9 of the meditation series on Doubt, the doubt showed up.
Or maybe I showed up to the doubt.
But contrary to what I expected, the doubt wasn’t frightening, it wasn’t threatening. Quite on the contrary, it was quite a moment of discovery. Sitting in silence and holding some bits of doubt was like watching clouds move across the sky: present in this moment, then gone in the next moment.
I suppose that, at some level, being able to just acknowledge that we do have some doubts reveals an important truth for us. Whatever it is that seems frightening or even threatening may, indeed, come and then go, like so many clouds in the sky.
Holding on to our doubts and then releasing them might be the first step toward a remarkable new discovery.