Agility

Today’s Word: ‘Agility’ as in… moving ahead with more emotional and spirited agility takes an enormous amount of work.

I’ve said this so many times that I’ve lost count: I was born with an extra dose of positivity. It’s just how I’m wired.

For instance: if a bunch of us went on a field trip together to the farm where I worked as a kid, and we were standing in that big old beautiful barn full of hay, someone would have something to say about “that peculiar odor.” And why not? That’s part of deal. But I’d be the one saying something like, “There’s just got to be a calf or a pony in here somewhere!”

That’s what positivity does. It looks for the silver lining, to calf, the pony. There’s always a bright spot in the darkest places for me, and I gravitate there. Sometimes too quickly. But that’s just how I’m wired.

As we’ve moved through these past nearly six months, and particularly as we’ve made our way through the last several weeks, that positivity wiring has been both helpful as well as a challenge, if not a hindrance to growth. But all along the way I’ve made a point of doing the difficult work of self-reflection.

I’ve been trying to be honest about my deep frustrations with the way once trusted organizations have treated people of color.

I’ve wrestled with a sense of helplessness; not knowing what right, good, next step to take.

I’ve had to look honestly at my anger. That hasn’t been easy. But it’s been necessary.

Rushing too quickly toward “the sunny side of things” is my way of coping with fear. That goes back a long way. But I’m discovering that by being honest, and perhaps most importantly, patient about how I’m really feeling on any given day and learning how to “sit with it…” allows me to move ahead with more emotional and spirited agility. Continuing to ground myself in the ancient scriptures and daily meditation has created a healthy space for all of that to take place.

Let’s press on together!

#100days50words

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